A good friend, Ron McClung, writes a weekly blog entitled, ‘Positive Perspective.’ In a recent blog he wrote, “Someone suggested F.E.A.R. Might be an acronym for ‘forget everything and run!’ But John Ed Mathison suggested a more positive approach would be ‘Face Everything and Respond.’” (Positive Perspective, 8-26-22)
It is my opinion that everyone fears something, or someone. Fear has levels of severity. Our fears can destabilize us, or simply give us pause. I fear spiders. This fear does not keep me from living, nor going to areas where spiders might be more prevalent. But they do give me pause. My grandkids know this. They do many things to play on that fear. They think it’s funny. I think it’s a reason to leave them nothing in my will. I love them, so I play along.
It must be noted that others have fears that can completely destabilize them. These fears trend toward phobias. They are real. They can cause people to be irrational. These folks cannot be dismissed with a simple, “Don’t worry, be happy.”
An antidote to fear many have suggested is, “When fear knocks, let faith answer.” This makes a great adage. It is pithy. It does have some truth to it. But when someone has a genuine deep fear, this person doesn’t want to answer the door at all; whether with faith or anything else.
Fear is a real thing. As mentioned in the first paragraph a good approach is to face it and respond. But this assumes an individual views facing it worth the emotional cost. It may not be. For some the preference is to allow the fear to be a participant with them. They have learned to function in a codependency with their fear. The fear takes up space in their life, but the crowded condition is to their liking. There is an unidentified concern they will lose their identity without the fear.
Fear can nip at the fringes of a person’s life. It visits them in unexpected moments. I have lived more life than I have left. I am healthy. I have lots of things I’d still like to do. However, I’d be less than honest, if I did not admit fear of death can nibble at my unconscious. There are times in that state between wake and sleep, I find myself thinking, “I don’t want to die.” I push it down not wanting to come to grips with the one reality none of us will avoid…death.
I understand that not wanting to die is not the same as fearing death. I am a Christ-follower. I hear many of my ilk say they don’t fear death as they know where they are going. I shake my head in agreement, while at the same time thinking, I’m not ready to deal with that.
I had a mentor tell me one time, “I don’t fear death. I know where I am going. I am just in not hurry to get there.” I’m confident where I am going, but still in no hurry.
It is a waste of emotional energy to fear that over which you have no control. This makes too much sense, but fear is not usually rational, or sensible. It is a force that we must live in, and with.
Paul tells Timothy, “For God has not given you a spirit of fear….” (2 Tim 1:7). This is an encouragement for each of us. However, even though God may not give us this spirit, there are times when we create it all by ourselves.
What do we do with our fears? There is no quick fix. Some fears we live with, and in. With others we need to seek professional help.
Fear is best addressed in community. Fear gets overblown when dealing with it alone. When we share it with others, we understand that we are not alone. And the loud noise we hear in our subconscious is weakened by the strength we find in one another.